Its the End- but only the Beginning

I feel compelled to share my story with the world; not in hopes of sympathy but, in hopes that some day, someone might see it and know that they too can break the chains they might be in and live a better life.
Here it goes:
I met my husband in 2006, we got married in 2007, we had a baby in 2008.
Fast forward to 2013- through addictions, rehabs, criminal behavior, and cheating I stayed. I didn't believe in divorce, there was some ultimate plan God had for our lives but we just hadn't discovered it yet, I wanted to make it work cause I thought God was telling me to stay.
I moved to Florida to try and yet again repair my marriage- All I got from that Journey was an amazing little man who I named Gabriel- "God is my strength". 
Fast again forward to 2015- We were supposed to move to Texas, the 4 of us, and start a new life. The day before we left I found out about the latest affair and he never came to say goodbye. It had been about a month in a half since he saw the boys frown emoticon
The boys and I went to Texas anyway, with promises from "friends" that said life would be so much better but, when things started NOT going the way that THEY had planned my children and I got the boot so now we're back in Illinois and that's fine with me cause God revealed to me that the boys and I need to be near my parents, God reaffirmed this when my dad fell down the stairs last week and ended up in the hospital.
So here's the part I want you all to know. Though not physically abused (with the exception of once or twice), I have been verbally, mentally, and emotionally abused by this man who was supposed to love me forever, for almost 9 years. 
My "husband" has found that his new girlfriend makes him the happiest man in the world but, he is still drinking, doing drugs, and has warrants in 2 different states (that we know of). I however, have always known that despite trying to make it work, that God has a definite plan for MY life and MY boys lives. We aren't divorced yet but, we will be, and our marriage is over.
What I want you to know is that this will be a LONG healing process for me- there is many mental thoughts that cause me to not feel good enough and degrade myself and I don't always think that I will overcome this but, I KNOW I will!
There is anger and unforgiveness, and bitterness, mistrust, etc. and quite possibly some PTSD in there too. I did what I thought God wanted and I think all along that strong power voice shouting that it was Okay for me to leave was being ignored by my selfish desire to try and make it work so that I wouldn't have a broken marriage and my kids didn't have to grow up without their dad but, truthfully, he was never really there to begin with and I'm no longer fighting that battle. 
Now, I fight the getting myself better battle. The moving on and healing, and continuing to press on raising 2 children.
I want you to know that it's okay. That God isn't going to strike you down dead for leaving a cheating, lying, sinful, husband. He's not going to condemn you to the pits of hell for putting yourself and your children first and getting out of an abusive relationship, he doesn't want that for you.
I hope that you know that you are a work in progress, just like I am, and that God is with you wherever you go- so chin up and be strong, God will never let you go and I am living testimony that he never gives up on his children, no matter how many times you've given up on him, he's always there.