Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year... As a person whose love language is giving, it filled my soul to give in abundance every year; to see the faces of friends and family receiving a gift from me filled my heart with joy every year. Until one year, it didn't anymore.
Christmas of 2017... I no longer found joy in wrapping presents that would pile up under the tree and stare back at me just waiting to be opened. It was more of a burden this year than it ever had been. There was no smiles or feelings of success but, instead a backache, sticky fingers, and cuts from the tape dispensers.
As Christmas day approached my boys got more excited about what was in those sparkly packages and what "Santa" would bring to them on Christmas Day. I tried to psych myself up for them but, I couldn't.
Christmas day came and there was so much under the tree, it took over 4 hours to open everything. It was ridiculous, to say the least. Then, we took several trips carrying it all upstairs only for it to sit in my living room, reminding me that 1. I didn't have the room for all of this stuff and 2. I spent way too much money (that I didn't really have) to stare at the mess, not being touched, by the once excited little boys.
So after a few days now of pondering this, I've decided to [Sorta] quit Christmas. I don't want my boys growing up believing that Santa brings them what their hearts desire or that gifts only come on Christmas. I want them to believe in Jesus' birth and that giving happens all year.
I hope that I can remember this and hold to it when I become eager to fill up the tree in 2018, instead I hope to give them a want, a need, a wear and a read and maybe go on a trip together, to have experiences rather than things.
It's not that I don't still love Christmas, I don't love that the world (and myself) have forgotten the true meaning; that had that sweet little baby never been born, there would be no Christmas and we would never have had the greatest Gift of All...Jesus.
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